Why can't I handle it on my own?

By: Andy Gear

When I think about life before the Fall, I don’t think of people going around lonely. But that thought comforted me because I realized loneliness in my own life doesn’t mean I am a complete screwup, rather God made me this way. You always picture the perfect human being as somebody who doesn’t need anybody, like a guy on a horse in Colorado or whatever. But here is Adam, the only perfect guy in the world, and he is going around wanting to be with somebody else, needing another person to fulfill a certain emptiness in his life . . . I wondered at how beautiful it is that you and I were created to need each other. The romantic need is just the beginning, because we need our families and we need our friends. In this way, we are made in God’s image. Certainly God does not need people in the way you and I do, but He feels a joy at being loved, and He feels a joy at delivering love. It is a striking thought to realize that, in paradise, a human is incomplete without a host of other people. We are relational indeed. 

-Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller

I often feel like I should be able to handle all my problems on my own. Images of John Wayne and Bruce Willis float through my mind as I suck up my pain and try unsuccessfully to pull myself back up by my bootstraps. If only I just relied on God more, all my loneliness would just melt away. But as I read the first chapters of Genesis, I begin to question this assumption. Adam walked in the garden in perfect fellowship with God, and even then God said that Adam needed other people. He didn’t create us to be lone wolves. He created us to need each other, and He doesn’t call this weakness. He calls it being made in the image of God. We are relational, like our Father.

Growth in maturity doesn’t mean learning to solve all our problems on our own. Seeking caring, empathetic, and authentic relationship is not a concession for the weak. It is the wisdom that comes from realizing who we were made to be. We were not made to ‘stick it out’ on our own. In the Old Testament God called a family and a nation. In the New Testament He called His church to do life as a community of brothers and sisters. He wanted us to understand our need for help in this journey. Why can’t I handle it on my own? It’s not because there is something wrong with me. I was never meant to do it alone.  

A Prayer in Pain: Lamenting in Sadness, Depression, Grief, Disappointment, Sorrow.....

By: Courtney Hollingsworth, PLPC


I don't think it a coincendence that many of our posts on this blog have talked about the lost and silent feeling that often accompanies pain, sadness, loss, grief, suffering, sorrow, depression, darkness, etc., like here and here and here, to just name a few. In these dark places in our lives and hearts, we are often at a loss for words or just don't know where to start. In the Bible, godly people would cry out to God in prayer from those places, and it is called a Lament. I'm sure you can see that this is the root word for "lamenting." There are many Laments in the Psalms and the book of Job, which God has given us. You can also write your own. A great book on this is A Sacred Sorrow, by Michael Card. Here is a a prayer of pain modeled after the way God has shown us in the Bible.

I jumped into the deep end, or I was pushed, I’m not quite sure.

The water is dark and icy, torrent like a storm.

I can’t even recall what the sunshine feels like on my face.

My tears well up in my heart, and overflow onto my cheeks,

Though they are veiled by the rain.

Do you see my tears?

Struggling to swim, gasping for breath,

My arms grow tired.

Do see my hands reaching for the sky? Do you even see me?

There are weights on my ankles,

And the more I fight, the heavier they become.

I wish I could say my voice is hoarse from calling out your name,

I wish I could say my eyes have never left the horizon, searching for your face.

I’m afraid I have drifted too far out to sea.

If you’re there, I cannot see you.

If you’re there, I cannot hear your voice.

Have you left me to struggle alone?

Do you see me at all, or have I wandered too far?

I told you I was prone to wander,

You knew it was true.

Where was your hand in mine?

Did you forget me too?

I just can’t do it anymore; I’m just not going to make it.

My Shepherd, you have never failed me, you have never let me drown.

I cannot save myself. I cannot protect myself, try as I might.

I must hide in the shadow of your mighty wing.

You see every tear I cry and hold it in your hand, my Comforter.

I long for the day when you will wipe away all my tears.

Keep me firm in your embrace until that day. Hold me fast.

I beg you not to let me drown.

Please do not forget me.